Temptation of a better time

By JD Reason

In the early stages of sobriety, I had a real fear of not having any more fun.

For the last 15 years, all of my perceived fun had revolved around drinking. I was an early ambassador of the sauce.

I got drunk for the first time at twelve with my cousin and remember feeling light, like some weight had been lifted. I’m not sure exactly what kind of weight a twelve-year-old could possibly be carrying—but it disappeared. I floated.

We were gleefully jumping around and laughing for maybe 30 minutes... until the world began to spin. Dizziness overwhelmed us. The rest of the night was spent puking in the woods, where I slept. In the morning, I went to find more beer—to get back to that bliss.

In hindsight, I may have been trying to recreate that moment for the last 20 years.
It never came.

Fun, Then Fog

In between that first drink and the last, though, I can’t say I didn’t have any fun.

The early years of drinking with friends were some of the best times. The stories that were born from those moments would shock the people and ruin my prestigious reputation in the community—so I’ll withhold.

I’m not a person who loves going down memory lane anyway.

I can say, though, there were bonds built as an alcoholic young man that may not have been built if alcohol hadn’t been involved. No one can be sure.

All I know now is that I’m here, happy enough, and sober.
Feeling more hopeful about the future than I have in a long time.

The "What If" Voice

Still, there’s a seething whisper from the darkness of my subconscious that begs the question:
“What if?”

What if the girl you constantly dream about is down at the bar, waiting for your slurred pickup line?

What if the real Spider-Man is doing a meet and greet, and after you wait in line and take a picture with him, he recognizes something special in you? He wants you to be his partner. He takes you to the lab where he was bitten and gives you a taste of the web. He teaches you everything he knows about fighting crime and being cool.

Eventually, he gets defeated by the great tech billionaire villain known as Remon Tusk, and you're left to save the world solo?

(You never know.)

What if the best night of your life is happening out there—without you?

FOMO Fades, Clarity Builds

That temptation of a better time can be strong.

Now, almost a year into sober living, the fear of missing out has dwindled. For me, it’s important to remember what my drinking became—and what it felt like.

Lonely and depressing.

The fun times that revolve around drinking are finished for me, because as soon as I take a sip, the drinking starts revolving around me.

I could be alone or in great company—either way, my only concern becomes the next drink.

So, I’ve been faced with the quiet challenge of integrating back into society, and building some kind of social life without alcohol.

As much as I do appreciate my solitude, there is a threshold on alone time.
We are social beings. We require some sense of community.

Chicken Therapy, Creative Medicine

My three chickens are great listeners and sometimes offer surprisingly good advice—but we don’t share many common interests.

I can only peck at the ground for a couple hours.
They go for days.
In many ways, they’re more antisocial than me.

This process of reintegration into social settings is slow, and it’s left me very bored at times.

But I’ve found some freedom in the boredom.
Putting the phone down and eliminating distractions allows the mind to wander into deeper states.

We can mitigate the boredom with imagination and a positive mindset.
Painting. Writing music. Letting the silence talk back.

Sometimes, just laying down and manifesting gratitude is the best weapon to fight the demons.

A very wise friend once told me:

“Pacing is progress.”

Soda Water Over Escape

As long as we don’t turn to alcohol or drugs to escape the day, escape the mind, escape the lonely—we can feel proud.

We have the control back.

Choose the soda water.
Put a splash of cran in there for some taste.
Stay bored, friends.

🫗 Pull Up a Seat at the Digital Jam Table

Whether you’re freshly sober, five years deep, or just rethinking your relationship with the bottle—we’re glad you’re here.

The #SodaCranLifestyle is about building something real, creative, and connected. On your own time. At your own pace.

💬 Share your story.
🎨 Send your art.
🎶 Drop a playlist.
🐔 Or just tell us what your chickens taught you this week.

You’ve got a seat at the table.

— JD Reason